Aquarius. Third of four children. Allergic to bees. My jaw makes a clicking noise when I eat. I live for the annual buy-one/get-one free sale at Toys R Us. I have my BB gun in my vehicle at all times. Disneyworld is a suitable honeymoon destination. Jellybeans freak me out. I've been to the top of the Eiffel Tower. The bathtub is my happy place. I constantly talk to myself. Duct tape is the greatest invention. I subscribe to magazines that I don't read. When provoked, I will bite. I'm in the market for a one-cushioned couch. I never wear red. I've written Charles Manson. Carrots are only good, raw. Someday I will live in Seattle. I'm bad at math. Big League Chew rules. I voted for Jesse Ventura. None of my exes like me.
My BFF is very good-looking. Go ahead and ask him a question:
Reader Mailbag:
Dear Scott,
I'm looking to get fit for the summer and there are so many fad diets out there, that I'm kind of overwhelmed. Which one do you suggest? The Zone? South Beach? Help!
Lost in Weight Loss,
Beth
Dear Beth,
I recommend you picking up a copy of "Skinny Bitch". Not because you're skinny but because you're a fucking bitch.
Put Down the Twinkies & Get On a Bike,
Scott
MK & A Fact of the Week:
Ashley is busy reading about her former co-star; Jodi Sweetin on this week's issue of People magazine. Mary-Kate is rocking my face on Season 3 of Weeds, fresh out on DVD.
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